An Akatsuki Morning
by TheGirlWithNoIQ
Summary: After a troublesome night, Sasori and Pein drinks coffee in the morning. But, will they enjoy it much long? Rated thanks to Hidan... Has been re-read and edited.


Hello! Don't own Naruto or the photo! Read and enjoy~

*This story has been edited three times!*

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An early morning at the Akatsuki hideout, two men were sitting at the kitchen table drinking hot steaming coffee. They had dark rings under their eyes, due to the trouble that happened last night. Their names were Sasori and Pein, and none of them were morning-birds.

"Next time," the leader said, "we don't give Tobi a CD."

"Especially not one named 'Kids favorite songs, top 60'." The puppet master said with a huff. Pein nodded back, shuddering in thoughts of the high noises that came from Tobi's room the previous night.

"I still can't believe Deidara enjoyed it as much as Tobi. Or that he could the lyrics of all the songs."

"Deidara is a brat," Sasori commented with a shrug.

Pein sent him a look. "He's your partner."

"It doesn't matter, he's still a brat."

Pein sighed of the reply before they both went silent. And weird enough it was silent, as silent they could hear each others breaths, through the hideout.

'7 am, and it's quiet as the grave…' the leader thought a bit surprised, checking the clock one more time just to make sure. And yes, he actually was. He seemed a bit puzzled but he didn't say a thing, just enjoyed the silence knowing it will be gone soon.

"What a nice morning…" he said after some time, glancing at the puppet that seemed to be singing on another planet with his sleepy eyes and lips tugged a bit upwards.

"…yes…" the red-head said before returning his gaze out the window again.

A peaceful silence came around, but when someone yelled six words so loud it echoed all over the hideout, the coffee they had in their mouth got spit out and landed on the kitchen table.

"Tobi, get back with my bra!" the knew the owner had the name Konan.

"It isn't yours!" the man she hunted for replied back.

Some quick footsteps could be heard coming closer, and soon were the boy and girl inside, breathing after oxygen while they held for their chest.

"What's going on?" The leader asked after a moment, looking first at Tobi and then at the blue-haired girl who finally opened her mouth.

"Tobi sneaked inside my room when I was showering and stole my bra!" The girl said, her fingers accusingly pointed at the moron.

"It isn't yours!"

"Who the hell owns it then? I'm the only girl in here!"

The masked man took a deep breath, ready for an answer but someone else beat him.

"Where the hell is my wallet?" it came from the corridor.

"Don't know, un" The voices owned a crazy Jashinist named Hidan and a girly-looking man named Deidara.

They got inside the kitchen sending daggers at each other.

" ..'Don't know' my ass, you stole it!"

"No, un. I didn't!"

Pein sighed and asked them, "What's going on?" his tone dripping in annoyance, and welcome to the headache!

"That blonde-Barbie-who-walks-like-a-fucking-diva,-who-u ses-Weasel-U'shit'a-make-up-and-is-now-making-out- with-his-creepy-hands stole my fucking wallet!"

"I haven't stolen it, un!" The blonde boy said frustrated, hiding his hands behind his back, blushing slightly to what Hidan just said.

"Who the hell did it then?" The wallet-less guy screamed right into Deidara's ear.

A second after his outburst that made the blonde's eardrums hurt for some time, they could hear someone walk by the kitchen and sing in a rough, untalented voice:

"Money, money, money… Must be funny! In a rich man's world..." *

"I think Kakuzu knows who did-" Deidara coudn't even end his sentence.

"Kakuzu, I'm so going to kill you, you Jashin's fucking asshole! Get back with my damn wallet!"

The white-haired guy yelled, interrupting the bomber before he ran out the door, nearly crashing into Zetzu who just walked in.

"Why the hell did you use the fucking door when you can for Jashin's sake walk through a fucking wall!" the crazy man rambled before he once again hunted after his teammate, yelling curse words down the corridor while he did so.

White Zetsu asked "What's wrong with him?"

His 'brother', the black half answered, "Probably pregnancy hormones..."

Pein spat out his coffee yet again, "What!"

"Didn't you know?" the white half asked looking at the leader with a shocked expression, "During the…eh…_party_ last night he got pregnant."

"But…don't pregnancies come.., you know 'knowingly' after some few months?"

Since Zetzu just moved his shoulders up and down in a 'I don't know', they all looked at Konan who sent them an irritated look back.

"Don't look at me; I don't know a shit about it."

"But weren't you pregnant last month?"

"What? Hell no, I wasn't!"

"That's right…" Deidara nodded, "you had your monthly period th-"

Konan hit him in the head.

"Owie…"

After a while Tobi took some steps towards Deidara. Konan spotted him do so, asked warningly:

"Tobi, can I get my bra back now?"

"It isn't yours." He said and kept walking to the blonde.

Deidara looked at the bra, and then at the black-haired idiot before he said: "Don't you dare tell me it's mine, un!"

Tobi a bit puzzled, said, "No... Not yours...?" He backed away some steps, clearly scared at his beloved senpai.

"So..." Zetzu's white half tried to lurk him to get information.

"Who owns it?" Black Zetsu asked.

Right then Hidan came into the kitchen, clothes red of slimy blood and with a crazy grin on his face. He looked in other words completely normal...

Pein sighed, "Did you kill him?"

"No..." The Jashinist snickered, "But I got my fucking wallet back!"

Suddenly Tobi uttered: "Hidan owns it!" while he gave him it.

Hidan looked at the pink bra, mumbling with his eyebrows highly up in the air, "What the..."

"Tobi..." Konan said, "Hidan is a guy..."

Tobi laughed, "I know...he should give it to his girlfriend!"

Shocked was everyone minus the orange lollipop.

"I don't have a girlfriend."

"Yes you have." The candy-masked boy replied.

"No...I don't have a damn girlfriend!"

"Maybe he thinks about the girl you-" White Zetsu began.

"- sacrificed yesterday?" His 'brother' ended.

"Tobi, she's dead and it wasn't his girlfriend." Deidara told his comrade with an apologizing expression.

"No...Not her…"

"Then who?" Konan asked with a frown.

"The girl he always talks about!"

Hidan screamed pissed off, "I don't talk about a fucking girl!"

"Yes you do..."The masked man smiled under his mask: "Miss Jashin! Give the bra to Miss Jashin!"

Silence before Hidan exploded with white boiling rage.

"What the hell! Are you calling my fucking God a fricking girl?"

Amazingly enough Hidan didn't run after him like he usually did when someone annoyed him, he stood still for a while, deep in thoughts, before he laughed his crazy laugh.

"Run for your freaky life, Candy-boy. Jashin-sama just gave me permission to slaughter you to death and kill you bloody body!"

A silence flew around before Deidara said confused.

"What...? That doesn't even make sense, un!"

"Shut up, Barbie-Bitchess!"

Zetzu looked at Tobi while he said in his white half, "Tobi...you should run-"

"-or else will Hidan get you..."

"Tobi thinks senpai should run to..."

"Good idea. Run!"

Tobi and Deidara flew through the kitchen door with a fuming Jashinist close behind.

"..Hidan! Give me my bra back!" The blue-haired origami lover yelled after the white-haired Jashin-fan.

"No! I'm going to strangle them with it!"

"Not with my favorite!"

She ran out the kitchen door to and was soon hunting him with a beef-knife.

At the same time Itachi and Kisame came in from the back door.

"The mission is done." the Uchiha told his leader.

"So the guy who made 'Kids favorite songs, top 60' is dead?"

A nod was Itachi's answer.

"Good. Hope Kisame fed his body to the sharks."

They heard screams outside the kitchen:

"Don't hate Tobi, Jashin-chan!"

"Shut up!"

"Hidan, don't w_ea_r my bra!"

"No, Origami-bitch. It's matching my hot eyes!"

"The thing Zetzu says is true, un...You do have pregnancy hormones!"

"What!? Zetzu, I'm going to kill you with this bra!" Hidan yelled so loud that it could be heard all the way to Konoha.

Naruto looked up from his tenth bowl of ramen, blinked, looked down at the half-empty bowl before showing it away from him. "That's it!" he exclaimed, horror shining from his eyes, "Enough ramen for me. I'm hella out of here!"

Teuchi and Ayame never saw him again...

Back at the kitchen where an awkward silence beheld:

"Oops, we should go."

"Run!" Zetzu's black half screamed.

He jumped through the kitchen window; glass shattered and landed on the new-cleaned white floor.

"Zetzu, use the bloody door!" the leader yelled after him.

"...What is going on?" Kisame asked, looking at the leader with a horrified expression.

"Don't ask, just go out the door and never look back..." Itachi replied in his monotone voice, yet again hiding what he thought for his comrades.

They quietly walked through the back-door, and when they were out and free from arms reach ran like hell into the woods.

Sasori drank the rest of his coffee when the silence came around, smiled slightly to the leader.

"What a nice morning, eh?"

Pein sent him a deadly glare: "Just shut up!"

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So, what do you think?

* The song Kakuzu is singing is ABBA's 'Money, money, money'

Am not quite happy with it, don't find it funny anymore...but then again, I have read and read, edited and edited, thought and thought about it days after days...I'm the freaking WRITER of this fic! :P XD

Please tell me your opinion of this one-shot, flames is okay though not wanted..XD

*Hint, Hint* Review-button is under this sentence...*Hint, Hint* :3


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